Alice plans a party
by Purgatory Dropout
Summary: It's Edward's ninetith birthday, and Alice has 'special' plans for him. Things quickly spiral out of control as the party unfolds.
1. Chapter 1

Edward stood in his room, his fingers hovered over the play button on his CD player, his eyes scanning the shelves. The CD he had thought he had in last, Mozarts Fantasy, was neatly placed on the shelf where it went. However, there was a CD in there and he couldn't remember putting anything else in. For Edward to forget something like that was odd. He finally hit the play button, and waited to hear the music. What he actually heard came as a bit of a surprise. "EDWARRRD! It's your lovely sister Alice! How are you? Confused? I knew you'd say that. Well big brother, It would seem that today is your birthday and before you groan, just know that your ninetieth is an important year for celebrating." Edward groaned. "Still groaning huh? Well how's this? We. are. having. a. party. end. of. discussion. You should go hunting, take the whole day, don't bother with school. we will see you promptly at 7:05. Luuuuuuhve yooooohh!" Edward ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. When Alice gets stuck on something, it is nigh impossible to change her mind. It wouldn't help to tell her that he didn't want a party. He decided to go hunting as he was asked. Besides, a couple decorations, presents, and his family; not so awful. He smiled and then went off to hunt for the day. Little did he know, Alice was planning something a bit different this year... 


	2. Chapter 2

Alice pranced through the halls of school, she had done so well thus far hiding her plans from all of the Cullens. In her hand she held the invitations she had made three weeks ago when everyone had been hunting, she had fed quickly and raced home to make them before anyone could notice she was gone. However, just because they had been made quickly, didn't mean they weren't absolutely perfect! Alice couldn't be more pleased.

All of Edward's birthdays, in fact all of the Cullen's birthday celebrations; although incredible thanks to Alice, had consisted of the same thing. Family. Alice longed for other people to see all of her party planning glory. Of course no one would approve of what she was about to do, so she kept it a secret.

She danced into the lunchroom and eyed every mortal most carefully. deciding who to invite was crucial. Well she would absolutely have to invite the cheer squad. Who better to have at a party than people as peppy as Alice. And if she invited them, the football team would have to come. After all cheerleaders and football players go hand in hand. Then what about the volleyball team? The debate team? The Chess club? If she invited one she must invite all. No group was more important that the other. She ultimately just decided to pass out invitations to everyone. She was certainly glad to have the foresight to make enough. The lunchroom was buzzing with excitement and she was also grateful for the foresight to have Edward not be in school today.


	3. Chapter 3

Alice ditched school early that day, after all the only reason she had went was to hand out her invitations. Feeling rather pleased with herself, she ran as fast as her feet would take her, almost never touching the ground. She had to get started on decorations.  
Alice thought about what she knew about her brother. He was born June 20, 1901...but obviously she would never fit that many candles on the cake...unless she made a bigger cake... She remembered a book she had read recently, called Harry Potter. The ghosts celebrated a death day party or something...perhaps that's something the Cullens should do...Edward 'died' in 1918...no, he probably wouldn't go for that, but it would double the amount of parties Alice got to throw.

When she got to their sprawling manor home, Alice set to work. She placed beautiful glass bowls at various points in the house full of honey, topped with lilac flowers. The house smelled wonderful and now, just like Edward. Every person/vampire had their own scent and this was his.  
She silently 'prayed' that this party might help him feel better. Edward was rather depressed, and they all noticed it. The Cullen's knew he was missing something from his life, though he himself didn't. Alice went to hang the rest of the decor she had made for the party and kept thinking about her brother. Edward is brooding and stubborn, but also very kind, compassionate, charming, polite, and determined. Why couldn't he find himself a nice mate, No one but Alice really understood why it didn't work out with Tanya. She shuddered at the thought and tried to move on.

He easily dazzles human females with his beauty, scent and body, and persuades them to do his bidding. Whether intentionally or not...but Alice suspected in was the former. He retained some of the traditional mindset and outdated speech from his human life in the early 20th century. Something Alice perpetually teased him about. Edward always reminded Alice of Gilbert Blythe, Fitzwilliam Darcy, and Edward Rochester. Edward employs the night hours reading books and studying languages, science, business and music, becoming a virtuoso on the piano. Edward enjoys listening to a wide range of music, including classical, jazz, progressive metal, alternative rock, punk rock, but he dislikes country. Something he and Jasper always butted heads about, Jasper adores country. Edward likes music from the fifties better than the sixties, dislikes the seventies entirely, and the eighties were "just bearable" for him. Alice figured she would just play something upbeat and fun. Edward's music was...an acquired taste...and might bore the other party guests.  
Alice sighed and clapped her hands together for a job well done. The house looked absolutely wonderful. Now it was time for her to get herself dressed.


	4. Chapter 4

Alice twirled in front of the mirror once more. Her dress was a lovely shade of lavender and had a heart shaped neckline. The fabric bunched up and came short just above her knees. Feeling satisfied she glanced at the clock. Only 6:01. She would never survived the hour and sixty seconds until Edward arrived. What is there left to do? She invited the guest, decorated for the party, baked the cake, wrapped Edward's present and put it on the refreshment table, laid out the music selection, and the other Cullens would be arriving shortly. What else could there be? She sauntered downstair,s and booted up the laptop. When she pulled up Google, she stared long an hard at the task bar, pondering what to type. Her little, delicate fingers danced across the keyboard. "Greatest...parties...of...all..time." Then she hit search. There was an exuberant number of links to click and she checked them all. They spoke of the blasting bass of the music, large quantities of alcohol, special brownies, glow sticks, numerous people wall to wall, and some movie called Project X. Alice's jaw dropped in horror. Parties of this century were something else entirely. She didn't have any of these things. She glanced back up at the clock, 6:05. Still plenty of time to go shopping


	5. Chapter 5

Alice wasn't sure where to find most of these things, but she had to try. She ended up going all over town that evening. She met a drug dealer named Bosco who never left the corner of the 7-11. That's how she got marijuana and ecstasy. Alice was still concerned enough people might not attend so she called in a local radio station to advertise the party. She then purchased the large quantities of alcohol and the glow sticks the internet said she would need. She could just borrow one of Emmett's Club Hits CD's when she got to the house for the blasting bass of the music. As night fell, she made it home just in time to set up her new additions, and wait by the door for the Cullen clan to arrive. Carlisle was the first to enter the threshold. "Well...what do you think!?" Alice excitedly asked. "Alice!? My God, what is all of this?" His eyes darted around the room taking in the low lights and change in decor. "Carlisle we need to keep with the times, and this is how people of this century celebrate." The rest of the Cullens trailed in behind him, each reacting differently. Emmett was excited, Rose amused, Esme concerned, and Jasper...well Jasper was just plain afraid. "Freakin' sweet Ali!" Emmett boomed. "We are gonna Rave tonight!" "Jasper grimaced. "It's reminds me of the early 90's." He shuddered. They all eventually agreed to go along with Alice's party plans for two reasons, reason one it was much too late to change party ideas for Edward, and reason two because no one wanted to face the wrath of Alice.  
The party's start time passed and party-goers arrived en-masse. Alice handed out an exorbitant amount of ecstasy tablets, which were quickly consumed by the everyone. The glow sticks were shared shortly after. Alice set a tray of brownies she had made with the marijuana baked inside on the table for people to take when they pleased. She glanced up at the clock once more, it was time for Edward to get there...


	6. Chapter 6

When Edward approached his home, he knew something was off. The smell of human blood filled the house, and music was thumping. He couldn't quite identify this other odor he was detecting...it was familiar though. He never expected what he saw when he opened the door. Alice was standing before him, a huge smile lighting up her face. Hundreds of guest were thrashing about, waving glow sticks wildly. "Happy Birthday big brother!" Alice shouted over the music. "Alice! What in the name of Leopold is this?" "Your party silly!" Alice exclaimed, rumpling up his hair with her delicate little fingers playfully. "Alice...I do not even know most of these people..." Edward tried to reason. "Not important, its the fun atmosphere that counts." Alice laughed and winked. My God, she finally has lost her mind completely. Edward thought. "Come on Ed!" Emmett shouted from across the room by the DJ booth. "This is the best birthday party you've ever had!" He laughed as he watched some kids start partaking of the 'special' brownies. "Lets hope none of us gets the munchies..." He licked his lips and rubbed his hands together evilly. 


	7. Chapter 8

Alice gasped. "Emmett! You will not eat our guests!"

Emmett crossed the room and took a 'brownie' from the tray and popped it in his mouth. Alice and Edward's eyes bugged. Emmett made a disgusted face, but choked the food down.

"I don't understand why humans like food so much, it's gross."

"Emmett why are you eating those?" Edward inquired. "It's not as if vampires can get high."

"Where does it say that?" Emmett asked.

"What? Nowhere, but it's a fact none the less." Edward stated.

"Well I don't buy it." Emmett huffed. "I feel high."

Edward scoffed. "No you don't Emmett, quit playing around."

"What? I can't hear you, i'm in the garden chasing butterflies!" Emmett laughed and threw his hands up to catch the invisible insects.

"Emmett those are not even the correct side effects for the drug you just ingested."

"What are the side effects?" Emmett questioned.

"Well you would experiance loss of coordination. Cannabinoid receptors located in parts of the brain can drastically inhibit motor skills and coordination. Audio or visual distortion, Lack of time perception, Intense feelings of happiness and joy are quite common, with uncontrollable bursts of laughter."

Emmett stumbled forward and squnited his eyes. "Alice? What time is it?"

Alice giggled. "Oh dear Edward, I do believe Emmett is high!" Alice said, playing along.

Edward scowled. "Stop this at once both of you!"

A boy, who was so clearly tripping on E, raced by waving a glow stick. "Great Rave Alice!" He exclaimed.

He turned toward Edward and grinned. "Your much too pretty to be a boy." he stated.

He then turned and grabbed Edward on the rear. Emmett burst out laughing.

"Didn't you say uncontrollable bursts of laughter were one of those side effects Edward?" Alice asked laughing all the while.

Edward was furious. "Please remove your hand away from my posterior sir!" The boy pulled his hand back wide eyed. "You lied to me! I thought you were a girl!" He turned and ran off into the throng of people sobbing.


End file.
